i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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