this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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