How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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