i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think my vagina is haunted
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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