I want to make a zoo with you.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
