Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
