i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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