then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
