I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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