This gyro tastes like lonliness
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
