Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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