Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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