? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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