Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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