genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
