It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
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thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
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When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.