Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
only i would get off to receiving death threats online