I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize