Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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