an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
