We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
