i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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