So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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