I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
