Someone shit on the floor
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Randomize
