u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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