1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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