maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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