somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Actions speak louder than pants.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
