You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
