Small penises have feelings too.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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