we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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