Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize