WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
