I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
