Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
