Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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