Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
