dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
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I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
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I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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