Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
