Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
