I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I am available for nakedness
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
