So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
