I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize