i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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