Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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