If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
