I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize