So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
