i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
