I'm gonna have a badass scar
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I AM VODKA MAN
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
