dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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