My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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