that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
