just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
