If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
